Change

I seem to find myself talking about change a lot, anyone that knows me is fully aware how much I love change. I'll move things around in the house be it a photo frame or a vase, just to keep things fresh. I love change so much that I would actually happily move house every couple of years, I'd re decorate yearly and my wardrobe every season. Obviously money is quite a major factor in all of the above and this tends to stop me in my tracks when I get too ahead of myself.

I'm not going to lie and say we are comfortable at the minute. We are really struggling money wise, but who isn't?! I am done with getting bogged down about it and we are going to change this soon enough, And yes, I am the first to admit I want more than I need. I love buying new things and I love lusting over stuff I can't have. I don't see the harm in it as long as I keep it as just a wish list and not get myself into debt! Thank you, Husband, for reining me in every week day.

So this brings me onto a huge change we are about to go through. Not only for me but for our whole family too and that is what terrifies me the most. I don't want this to affect the children in a bad way and I am going to do my very best to not let it turn into anything negative.

I am starting an access to higher education course in Health and Science! I am doing it from home whilst still carrying on. for now, with my photography business. In the long hope that I will get into University in 2017 and I can train to become a Midwife. It is something I have wanted to do since having Harvey and it is constantly in the back of my mind. I watch OBEM and I'm not broody, I spend the whole hour listening to the midwives stories, their reactions and their emotions. It finishes and I declare 'One day, I am going to be a midwife!'. Well, the journey has started! And I cannot tell you how excited I am about it. I am so excited it makes me blub!!

When I had Harvey I had only just turned 18, I was completely uneducated on labour and birth and it only dawned on me when I was actually in labour that I had spent so much time reading about what to do with a newborn baby that I had no idea about the labour and birth part. I clear as day remember saying to my Mum in the early stages of labour, "Well... what do I do now??'.. 'You wait.' OH!? REALLY? He doesn't just come NOW? I am no good at waiting at the best of times and 9 days over due and I am labour and I STILL HAVE TO WAIT? Jeez.

Looking back now, I had so much support whilst pregnant. My midwife was amazing and I absolutely loved her. She was quite a no shit sherlock type bod, which suited me down to the ground and quite often I needed that kick up the back side she gave me. Had she not been so brilliant, I would have really struggled. Of course I had my mum who was and still is absolutely amazing, but having someone in the profession, who knows how you are feeling and knows exactly what they are talking about really does make all the difference. I hear of so many people say how they wished they had more support from their midwife or they didn't gel so well with them whilst in the hospital and it makes me even more determined to change that. Of course, we don't all gel with everyone and it will be a long and hard road but the thought of being responsible for a family welcoming their brand new addition to the world feels me with absolute joy and I honestly cannot tell you how amazing it feels to begin this journey.

Bring on the next 5 years of education and many happy and sad times!!

A few of the boys on their first day of school this year!

Char x